how to tell if your baby mama still loves you This is a topic that many people are looking for. cfiva.org is a channel providing useful information about learning, life, digital marketing and online courses …. it will help you have an overview and solid multi-faceted knowledge . Today, cfiva.org would like to introduce to you 13 Signs Your Mans Babymama Is Not Over Him (and how to handle her). Following along are instructions in the video below:
m master step family coach naja hall and today i want to talk about how how to tell if your mans ex is not over their relationship. The most way is if she tells him if she says things like i miss us or i want my family back or the children really miss you we really miss you that means. Shes not over the relationship and shes definitely not ready to become a co parent now most of the times.
She may not say these words exactly so itll come in a different form. She might be more passive about it she might alienate for him for example. She might send messages through the children or she just might flirt a little bit.
If she tries to cause problems in his new relationship. Then she might be envious or jealous of the fact that hes totally moved on and she cant see herself as no longer being his romantic partner and just being his co parent. Which is also an extremely important role in his life.
But it gives her far less control and far less input on whats happened what happens in his life. If she tries to alienate their child from the father and an effort to punish him then she is absolutely full of a resent and contempt a good man or good father that wants to spend time with his child and actively takes care of his child. However.
The mother is withholding the child is still hurt. Shes full of pain and one of the best things you can do besides giving her time is litigate. I firmly believe in making sure that your man has very clear concise custody orders in place that outline his visitation phone.
Call schedules who can pick up and drop off the child just little things like that to eliminate the need for conversations because as we know when co parents are not on the same page. Any little miscommunication can cause a big blow up if she calls at inappropriate times. Then that doesnt necessarily mean.
She still wants to be in a relationship with him. However. She does not have clear boundaries on what this new co parenting relationship.
Should look like with her childs father. The best way that a man can handle that is simply to tell her and i know its easier said than done. But he has to be very firm in this and if she does call outside of business hours.
The business of raising a child by the way if she calls beyond outside for those hours then hes jumps.
He simply cant answer. The phone. One of the members of my membership community vip stepmom suggested this one she says if the biological mother tries to emulate her exs lifestyle.
Then she might be in a competition with him she might go out and buy the same car. He has or move into a bigger house or move into the same neighborhood or immediately get into a new relationship. If theres a sense of competition then that means.
Shes certainly not over this failed relationship if a biological mother expresses an extreme dislike for the stepmother a hatred for the stepmother she tries to alienate the children from the stepmother and this woman had nothing to do with the breakup or the breakdown of her relationship with her co parent. Then shes absolutely still im not gonna say in love with him. But she has some feelings that are not yet resolved and let me just add this as a caveat.
Most biological mothers arent actually still in love or want to be in a relationship with their baby days they simply have not found a healthy medium between being his co parent and a former romantic interest. They havent learned a clear set of boundaries. Yet meaning.
This is not your man. Anymore you cant control who he talks to or where he goes and especially how he parents the next reason is if she makes every conversation with her childs father about herself or their past relationship. Then shes not over him conversations between co parents especially once fresh out of a relationship or ones.
That are still in the midst of a little bit of conflict should remain child centered. But if every time something reversed some back in the day you used to do this or you never did this this for me or you do this for her now or i miss sure it goes to an unhealthy place. And shes absolutely not ready to build a relationship with her co parent based on boundaries and respect in an unhealthy or unbalanced.
Co parenting relationship. There can be a big gray area between whats appropriate. And whats not appropriate.
Its up to the parent. That is ready to move on and strictly co parent to set the boundaries and be firm about them a lot of stepmothers seem to think that the biological mother is jealous of them and i would say its not really you stepmom that shes jealous of maybe. She is envious of the life that youve created with her former partner maybe.
She thinks you are getting to reap all the benefits of the work in time that she put in pouring love and support into this man maybe.
Shes projecting. Some of her own insecurities onto the stepmother. Theres some cases where a biological mother and his stepmothers relationship with the same guy kind of overlaps and yeah.
That does cause some tension. But if this is a brand new man in your life. And his childs mother is still wrapped up in whats happening with you she calls you ugly.
She calls your name. She dehumanizes you then shes kind of is not over that fella and what happened in that relationship with him by the way fellas. It is not your job to coddle this woman its not your job to give her answers.
Its not your job to be her therapist or her shoulder to cry on no while it would be nice for you to offer support and encouragement and acknowledgment to your childs mother. If shes any sort of high conflict and its best that you completely back away. Shes gonna have to go find a coach or a therapist or one of her friends for to be the shoulder to lean on you cannot do it i would never never it never advised that a man fall into the trap of becoming that person.
Because its hard to co parent with somebody that still has unresolved feelings in extreme cases where a biological mother assaults. Or stalks or threatens. A new woman in a mans life then we know shes not over that now if you are a woman that is being stalked or harassed.
I would suggest that you carefully reevaluate your relationship. Now it this man is stuck with this woman for the rest of his life. But youre not so if hes not the absolutely best man that shes ever been with in your life run run run.
And i mean that i seriously mean that because the stress that comes along with being with someone that has a high conflict co parent in their lives is tough. It can put quite a strain on your own emotional well being and your relationship as a matter of fact 70 of second marriages. Fail for this very reason now a lot of people think.
Its finances or infidelity. No. This is why 70 of second marriages.
Do not work.
Theres a high conflict biological mother. There are stepchildren that are causing problems. Within the household or youre just with a man that had some issues setting boundaries with his previous family and his new household.
Now this is kind of cringy. But if she shows up to pick up and drop offs or events that she knows her childs fathers gonna be a sketchy lee clad not wearing many clothes flirting with him reminding him of how cute she was or how cute she is then she still wants that man she wants im bad now stepmom this doesnt mean you have to be there because youre not your mans bodyguard you just have to trust that hes going to do the right thing with respect to your relationship and by the way just because shes in a whole new marriage or has new children does not mean that she is moved on from watching to control and have input. And maybe even still kind of be with her childs father.
If shes always trying to find a reason to communicate with him and its definitely not about the child then she has not found a healthy way to coexist with this man as simply being her co parent breakups are hard divorces are devastating as a matter of fact divorce. A lot of people describe the feeling of divorce is like the death of a family. So you essentially have to grieve something that is still going to live on.
But it has to just be restructured in a different way and a lot of people dont find healthy ways to grieve that grief turns into hatred and contempt and jealousy and envy and a lot of years of litigating in court. Very expensive battles fighting battles through attorneys alienating of children never allowing the children to connect with the new step parent. So this level of grief is something that a lot of people are just not prepared to endure themselves you can usually tell when a mother is not over her childs father.
If shes very quick to profess how great her life is without him how happy the children in her are now that hes gone. Shes gonna find her kids a new dad. If she is always trying to convince him that shes better off without him sounds like shes trying to convince herself happy people dont really know me gloat like that they certainly dont feel the need to put it on front street for an ex.
Because theyre an export reason and we dont have anything to prove to them and one of the tell tale signs that shes really not over him is shes really cool with him. Everythings okay theyre perfect call parents until boom. He goes and gets in a new relationship then all hell breaks loose.
So if any four of these tips sound eerily. Familiar to you then theres a very strong chance that your mans ex is not quite over him if you yourself are stuck in a cycle of not being able to unattach from your co parent or if youre a woman that is the new person in this family thats been devastated by a divorce or breakup. No matter no matter how many years ago.
It was then i have resources for you please visit me at blended in black calm and vip stepmom calm. I am. Not your hall and i will see you next time oh and by the way please like share and subscribe and if you have any questions or comments.
I will be very happy to answer them down below music. .
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