how to get a date worth keeping This is a topic that many people are looking for. cfiva.org is a channel providing useful information about learning, life, digital marketing and online courses …. it will help you have an overview and solid multi-faceted knowledge . Today, cfiva.org would like to introduce to you Henry Cloud – How to Get a Date Worth Keeping audiobook ch. 1. Following along are instructions in the video below:
One why hasnt god brought me the love of my life. The evening began began routinely enough the team producing my weekend seminar in cincinnati and i were out dinner. We discussed light hearted things as we ordered our meal.
It was more a moment to stop and catch our breath than to have life altering discussions. Little did anyone know what was about to take place. I never thought id be doing what im doing now at this point in my life.
Lily said innocently talking about her work. What do you mean. I asked well.
I always thought i would be married and have children by now oh. I thought to myself that makes sense a lot of women feel that in their mid 30s. I understood what she was saying until she continued but god hasnt chosen that for me my ears perked up.
I wondered what she meant while i believe that god leads us and guides us in life. I also wondered why she blamed her situation on god. Both the psychologist and the theologian in me bristled wondering what responsibility she might be shirking regarding her undesired singleness.
I knew her well enough to know she might have some issues contributing to her single state. What do you mean god hasnt chosen that i asked well i believe god brings the man into your life you are to marry. And he hasnt brought that man to me yet she replied that was enough to get me going.
But her next line really did it or he hasnt given me the feelings. I would need for the man. He has brought into my life.
God hasnt given you the feelings. What does that mean well god gives you the feelings for the person he wants you to marry and that hasnt happened with any of the men. I know whose feelings are they yours are gods.
What do you mean. She asked sounding a little bugged well it just sounds like you blame god for a lot. How do you know he hasnt brought ten great men into your life.
But you have things inside of you that make you incapable of feeling. What you would need to feel for them how do you know your issues arent getting in the way of recognizing and falling in love with a good man. If he did come along.
Why do you just assume. This is gods fault. I felt as though.
I was on a bit of a mission defending gods honor. I disagree god will bring the right man to me. And until then i just need to wait how is that going what do you mean well how long has it been since you went on a date.
She hesitated looking embarrassed. I didnt mean to put her on the spot in fact she had been so assertive in stating her case and so aggressive and coming after me when i challenged it that her sheepish ness caught me off guard two years. She said.
What it has been two years since ive been on a date. She confessed how could that be i wondered she was outgoing and attractive a real people person of the highest order traits that usually make dating come easily then it occurred to me her lack of dates had to be a combination of her sitting back and waiting for the man of her dreams to come and find her and some personal dynamics. Interfering with her desire to be married.
I could think of no other reason someone who actually wanted to have a man in her life would be that stuck then something changed in me up until that point lilly and i had been in a friendly debate. Everyone at the table had gotten caught up in the banter. But when i saw the reality of the situation an attractive young woman in the prime of her life yet unhappy i felt for her i wanted to help and if i were right i knew i could so i issued a challenge.
I will make you a deal lilly. I will be your dating coach i guarantee that if you will do whatever i tell you you will be dating in six months. She looked at me stunned.
What just what i said ill be your dating. Coach and if you will do whatever i say i guarantee youll be dating in six months. But there is a catch i demand total obedience you have to do everything i tell you no questions asked and i promise.
I will not ask you to do anything immoral unethical or illegal. But you have to do whatever i tell you everyone at the table fell silent. I could see the others wondering whether or not they would subject themselves to such a mystery.
Challenge and i could see lily weighing the same thing. Did she really want to do such a crazy thing agree to conform to a totally unknown plan. Just like that i could also see that she was ticked at my challenging her way of thinking about dating.
She wanted to accept the bet and prove me wrong. The latter attitude. I suspect is what won out with the others hanging in suspense.
She growled at me fine youre on i didnt really think shed accept my challenge. But i was ready i jumped right into it okay here is your first assignment for one month. I want you to keep a log of all the new men you meet and email.
It to me at the end of every week. Send me the name so we can count how many new men come into your life and have a chance to ask you out are you joking. She said.
I dont need an assignment for that i can tell you right now. None. What do you mean none.
I asked exactly that i never meet anyone new every day. I go to the office and see the same six or eight people then i go home eat dinner and watch tv with my roommate then on saturday. I run errands and hang out and on sunday.
I go to the same church and see the same people i always see that is what happens every week. I never meet any new men to go out with i dont care. I still want you to keep a log and for the men to count they have to fulfill three requirements first they have to be new men youve never met before second they have to have enough of an interaction with you to want to ask you out and third.
They have to have enough information to ask you out such as your name or know how to find you no pressure to have any dates right now i just want to understand your situation. If the number is zero thats fine. We can work with that i just need to know what the picture really looks like she was not impressed with my first assignment.
How was calculating her misery going to get her a date. She was probably wondering thinking that this was going to be an easy challenge to win. But this assignment wasnt meant to help her get a date yet.
I was trying to get her to come out of denial. And see the reality of her situation for two years. Her dating life had been stagnant and she was denying that reality with a philosophy that if you do nothing god will somehow step in and provide a man that way of thinking.
Which i knew was nowhere in the bible kept her from seeing she was very very stuck my goal was to get her to see the reality of her situation and to get very discouraged. I wanted her to see that what she was doing was not working. And that it had been that way for a long time.
I wanted that realization to sink in and bother her am. I trying to convince her that she was wrong was not going to work. She was too sure she was right i wanted her to realize the reality of her dating.
Life for herself. Just as balancing. A checkbook can wake up one to ones lack of money keeping a log would awaken lily to her lack of dates.
I had many other assignments lurking in the back of my mind to give her and after she completed this first one. I gave them to her one by one she obeyed fully i have to hand it to her she stuck with the program here is the result in five months. She was in a significant dating relationship so i won the bet.
But it didnt end there just a few months ago. I officiated at her wedding to a wonderful man when i talked to her the other day. She laughed about how it had all happened being married is so cool.
She said and then she stopped herself and quickly added. But it is only cool if you are with the right person. I was so happy for her she got her dream and she got it with a good person that to me was the full victory not just to be dating usually an easily achievable goal.
But to be dating. A good person the kind worth keeping that is the goal of this book. I not only want you to have a wonderful dating life.
But i also want those dates to be with good people the kind worth keeping in this book. I will give you a strategy to get your dating life moving in that direction more dates and more dates with good people i will take you through the program. I took lily through and give you some added tips as well and i believe that if you are ready to follow my advice you too can find a date worth keeping are you ready i hope so.
But to find out lets take a gut check first .
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